QUOTES - HISTORY TO REMEMBER

Here's a couple of quotes attributed to Johnny Carson.  Most of the Carson quips were part and parcel to his "character studies" on The Tonight Show.  

This first one was from Johnny's "Carnac The Magnificent".

Ans: SPAM

Question: What is the sound of a pig hitting the bottom of an elevator shaft??

This one is from a different bit on The Tonight Show.

“Is Your Mind So Cluttered With Trash That You Have To Call The Department Of Sanitation Just To Collect Your Thoughts?”

Before introducing the first ridiculous product he has chosen to showcase on Tea Time Movie, Art Fern would set things up by asking the audience a series of equally ridiculous, but still somewhat relatable, questions. This rhetorical hypothetical regarding mental health was his segue into discussing his course in Transcendental Meditation at Guru U.

Everyone probably remembers Geraldo Rivera -- Right..???

In 1986, Geraldo Rivera hosted a live TV special in which he opened a recently discovered vault supposedly belonging to famed gangster Al Capone. Upon opening the vault, Geraldo discovered it was empty. 

The infamous moment is referenced in one of Johnny Carson’s many jabs at the TV reporter..... by way of also poking fun at the stereotypical "blonde" moment.

From a "bit" by Johnny Carson..

“Last Night, Geraldo Rivera Broke Into The Head Of A Valley Girl .....  And Found Nothing”

Not a quote, but interesting history I have never heard before.

President Harry S. Truman was forced to vacate the White House for years.

In November 1948, President Harry S. Truman and his family were forced to vacate the White House regarding concerns over the building’s structural integrity. Truman had moved into the White House after taking office in 1945, but a series of incidents — including one in which the leg of his daughter’s piano fell through the floor — affirmed that the residence required extensive renovations. A dissatisfied Truman called repairs from Theodore Roosevelt’s administration a “botch job.” Analysts also suggested that the building deteriorated during Franklin D. Roosevelt’s time in office, as the Great Depression and World War II forced FDR to reallocate vital resources away from much-needed repairs.


The Truman family moved into nearby Blair House, a building purchased by the federal government in 1942 to serve as the President’s official guest residence. Though Truman wasn’t pleased with the displacement, he also wasn’t in a rush to return to an unsafe building. The president authorized an extensive renovation that lasted from 1948 until 1952, during which deeper foundations were dug and a steel frame skeleton was added to the White House’s interior. Nearly the entire building was renovated; a balcony installed by Truman in early 1948 was one of the few elements left untouched. After lengthy delays, Truman moved back into the White House in March 1952, and spent the final 10 months of his presidency there.



https://historyfacts.com/famous-figures/...for-years/

This thread needs to be updated. Just a little refreshing for the discerning history buff...


"You can drive for five hours in the United States and still be in the same place, more or less. If you drive for five hours in Europe, suddenly everyone’s talking funny and the cheese is different."
att: Unknown


The Situation:  The Battle of the Bulge has the not-so-enviable prestige of being the absolute worst time ever for everyone involved -- particularly those fighting near the Belgian town of Bastogne. It also proved the Law of Proportionate Badassery (which we just made up), which states that something as simple as telling someone to work on their midair defecation becomes historic when you're shouting it over the din of mortar explosions. And somehow, a quote about a general's testicles isn't even the ballsiest boast to burst from the beaks of the Battered Bastards of Bastogne.
As German forces plowed through Allied territory and closed in on the 12,000 soldiers holed up in that tiny village, a Corporal Carson of Easy Company (the group that Band of Brothers was based on) approached a medic and asked why everyone wasn't being evacuated. The medic (whose name has been lost to history, somehow) replied, "Haven't you heard? ... They've got us surrounded -- the poor bastards."
att: Unnamed medic



"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."
—Will Rogers


"I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way."
—Carl Sandburg

A few more quotes...


"If  'A' =  success in life,  then A = X + Y + Z;  Where X is 'work', Y is 'play', and Z is 'keeping your mouth shut'.
— Albert Einstein


"Being optimistic after you already have everything you ever wanted, doesn't count."
—Kin Hubbard


"The best and safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it back in your pocket."
--Kin Hubbard


"Be kind to people on your way up — so you won't have to apologize to them later on your way down."
—Wilson Mizner