In an obvious attempt to add a little levity to our days.... Here is the place to post the latest jokes you've heard. AND read ones posted by others...
PLEASE ... Use good sense. NO porn jokes or anything terribly "blue".
I'll start this off...
** What do you call a thought in a blonde's head.??
ANS: A) Lonesome B) A tourist (Either answer is correct..)
** There are two Russians and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving.??
ANS: The police
Okay, your turn.!!
** What do you get when you cross a Russian with a Vietnamese.??
ANS: A car thief who can't drive.!!
Here are a couple more cute ones....
** Hey, how do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm.??
ANS: You look for fresh prints.
** What do you call bears with no ears.??
ANS: B
Two blonds (men) decide to go ice fishing. They head out, find a nice spot, cut a hole in the ice, and set up their rods..
Suddenly, a loud voice booms from above, “THERE ARE NO FISH HERE!!!”
The two guys look around, look at each other, and look up, and they don’t see anyone.
“I suppose we’d better move then,” they decide.
They get up and find another spot on the ice, cut a hole, and set up their rods with great hopes of fresh Walleye. Once again, the voice booms from above, “THERE ARE NO FISH HERE!!!”
They look around, look at each other, then look up. Again, they don’t see anyone.
“We best find another spot,” they decide.
So, they gather up their equipment, choose another promising spot on the ice, cut a hole, and set up their rods..
Once again, the loud voice booms from above, “THERE ARE NO FISH HERE!!!
They look around, look at each other, then look up, again seeing no one. One man calls out, “God in Heaven, is that you?”
The voice responds, “NO! THIS IS THE SKATING RINK MANAGER! THERE ARE NO FISH HERE!!!”
Mr. Green peered over his fence and noticed that the neighbor’s little boy was in his backyard filling in a hole. Curious about what the youngster was up to, Mr. Green asked, “What are you doing, Jimmy?”
Tearfully, little Jimmy replied, “My goldfish died, and I’ve just buried him.”
“That’s an awfully large hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Mr. Green asked.
Patting down the last bit of earth, little Joey replied, “That’s because he’s inside your cat!”