04-18-2026, 08:41 PM -
George came home from university in tears. He asked his mother, "Mom, am I adopted??" His mom said, "Of course not honey. Why would you ask that?" George told her that he had taken a DNA test, and he showed her the results. "Mom, there are no matches in our family, but there are strong matches with a family across town." His mom thought for a second and hollered for her husband. "Honey, George took a DNA test and there are no matches. I don't know how to say this, but he might not be our son.!" Her husband replied, "Well, Duh.!!" "What do you mean?", she asked shocked. He shrugged and said, "Remember our first night in the hospital? The baby wouldn't stop crying. You told me I needed to change him." He smiled proudly, "So, I did. And I think I picked a great one.!!"
A burglar breaks into a house in the middle of the night while the family is on vacation. He stumbles around with small, weak flashlight trying to find valuables without announcing himself to the neighbors. He continues to look around when he hears someone say, "Jesus is watching you." He jumps and spins around but sees no-one. Thinking he was hearing things he continues to look around then he hears again, "Jesus is watching you." The burglar looks around and speaks up. "Who's there.? Where are you.?" Hearing no response, he looks around and notices a small parrot in a cage. The burglar laughed and said, "Aha, it's a parrot.!" He approached the parrot and said, "That's pretty cute. Your owners taught you to say that, didn't they?" The parrot spoke up and said, "Actually, I'm fluent in English." The burglar said, "That's cool, I guess." "What's your name mister parrot?" The parrot answered, "Moses". The burglar laughed and said, "What kind of people name their parrot, Moses.?" The parrot said, "The same kind of people who name their pit-bull Jesus.!!"
A man walked into a bar and sat down on a stool. A minute or so later a friend joined him and said, "you know, things are getting crazy overseas" ... he continued by saying, "If the world was going to end in two hours, what would you do..??" The first man thought for a second then said, "I'd head out and 'shag' everything that moved. -- What would YOU do.?" The second man said "I'd be sure to stand VERY still.!!"
A burglar breaks into a house in the middle of the night while the family is on vacation. He stumbles around with small, weak flashlight trying to find valuables without announcing himself to the neighbors. He continues to look around when he hears someone say, "Jesus is watching you." He jumps and spins around but sees no-one. Thinking he was hearing things he continues to look around then he hears again, "Jesus is watching you." The burglar looks around and speaks up. "Who's there.? Where are you.?" Hearing no response, he looks around and notices a small parrot in a cage. The burglar laughed and said, "Aha, it's a parrot.!" He approached the parrot and said, "That's pretty cute. Your owners taught you to say that, didn't they?" The parrot spoke up and said, "Actually, I'm fluent in English." The burglar said, "That's cool, I guess." "What's your name mister parrot?" The parrot answered, "Moses". The burglar laughed and said, "What kind of people name their parrot, Moses.?" The parrot said, "The same kind of people who name their pit-bull Jesus.!!"
A man walked into a bar and sat down on a stool. A minute or so later a friend joined him and said, "you know, things are getting crazy overseas" ... he continued by saying, "If the world was going to end in two hours, what would you do..??" The first man thought for a second then said, "I'd head out and 'shag' everything that moved. -- What would YOU do.?" The second man said "I'd be sure to stand VERY still.!!"
This post was last modified: 04-18-2026, 08:52 PM by Hobbit99.
"A Reasoned Response From A Reasonable Mind"